TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
