My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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