i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
