Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
