but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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