I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
