omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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