guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
