i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
