As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
