i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
