addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
