it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
