i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
