I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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