oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
