Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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