im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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