New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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