Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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