party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize