how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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