we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
