I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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