I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
