he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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