i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
