what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
