I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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