Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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