I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize