I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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