I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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