Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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