Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
