What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
