he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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