hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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