I smell stomach acid.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
