My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
