R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
