Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
