no, he came in my armpit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
