I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
