I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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