Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The best revenge is premature balding
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
