How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
