The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
