Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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