I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize