yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
