Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize