At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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