i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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