i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
