The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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