if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
