tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
