When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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