You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
