i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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