This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
