girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
