I want to stick my p in your. b.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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