I seem to have left my pride at pride
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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