Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
