i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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