she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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