I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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