Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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